during this moment, am I happy? or sad?
This few weeks, I did fall in love to someone that I shouldn't. Until this few days, I heard that the person that I love already have her own darling. Well, of course I'm nervous and wish to know that wheather it is true or not. I had tried to keep seeking answers and tried to ask for answers, but she won't let anyone know it.
At the beginning, I predicted that she just want me to give up so come up with such technique. At the end, I gave up on her. I really don't know the rumours is true or not. I'm so sad and really heart broken. I dislike to be third party who breaks other's relationship. At the moment of sad, I just can pretend that I'm happy and wish them live happily and blissfully. It's just like having a thorn inside my heart. SO SUFFER!
Later, I been honest to her. I told her everything since I started to have feelings towards her. I made up a decision which is giving up on her regarding she has one or not.
Since when I started to think all the possibles outcome in my mind. Did she really have one? If so, when it was started? I begin to realized that it was almost whole semester already. From the moment she was acting weird during this semester. Why I didn't realized this? Although I able to sense something from her at that moment, but why I woundn't admit it?
Now, whatever I asked and she intend to not answer, I bet she's dating again. If she does have one, everything seems to make sense already. The feeling of mine is jealous! Jealous to the guys who can be with her and having her love. Although I decided gave up on her, my heart still pain enough to make me cry like a baby, like the rain. After this moment I will cut off any connection to her for a while. I need a quiet environment to recover my heart. Am I really sad and pretended to be happy about it? Can you imagine the feeling?
At the beginning, I predicted that she just want me to give up so come up with such technique. At the end, I gave up on her. I really don't know the rumours is true or not. I'm so sad and really heart broken. I dislike to be third party who breaks other's relationship. At the moment of sad, I just can pretend that I'm happy and wish them live happily and blissfully. It's just like having a thorn inside my heart. SO SUFFER!
Later, I been honest to her. I told her everything since I started to have feelings towards her. I made up a decision which is giving up on her regarding she has one or not.
Since when I started to think all the possibles outcome in my mind. Did she really have one? If so, when it was started? I begin to realized that it was almost whole semester already. From the moment she was acting weird during this semester. Why I didn't realized this? Although I able to sense something from her at that moment, but why I woundn't admit it?
Now, whatever I asked and she intend to not answer, I bet she's dating again. If she does have one, everything seems to make sense already. The feeling of mine is jealous! Jealous to the guys who can be with her and having her love. Although I decided gave up on her, my heart still pain enough to make me cry like a baby, like the rain. After this moment I will cut off any connection to her for a while. I need a quiet environment to recover my heart. Am I really sad and pretended to be happy about it? Can you imagine the feeling?
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